Monogomy is not for the bored!

Ok I am going to be honest here, this blog originally was going to be a rant about people keeping it in their pants. But (Yeah I said but) that blog which is now deleted was fueled with drama that doesn’t need anymore energy given. This one here is the happy thoughts that came with it. So buckle up, this is going to be a little different.

Almost 2/3rds of my friends are either polyamorus or in an open relationship. This is their life choice and it isn’t my job to tell anyone else otherwise. Lately the world seems to be shifting to a place of spite for monogamy. Almost every day I see someone on my FB friends list posting an article, meme or video on why monogamy is toxic or some other bad phrase attached to it. This to me is just plain bullshit! I am an avid believer that ANY relationship can work either way as long as communication, consent and the power of love.


Love is a powerful magic in the universe that can only be defined by the soul. I strongly believe that some people out there do have the will and capacity to love more than one person on a romantic level. These people form lasting and committed relationships with other partners, again the key is communication, consent and love.

Lust is not the equivalent of love, but what if you find a partner who you truly love and they do not satisfy your lust. A lot of couples who experience this either split up, or they enter into a MUTUAL agreement to have multiple sexual partners to satisfy that lust without compromising the love in the relationship.

Woman dominate young man

Most couples I have seen go into open relationships do not last unless they have communication, consent and of course love. Almost everyone of them that I have talked to either individually or together told me that this lifestyle is mostly because they are bored. Boredom! They are living out their fantasies with other partners purely out of boredom. You know what the number one reason for infidelity is? That’s right! Boredom. Men or women who cheat on their partners do it purely out of boredom for their everyday mundane lives and needed a little excitement to feel alive. It’s not out of love or lack of it, it is the same reason for drugs, addiction, obesity and alcohol, boredom.

wedding couple lying under a tree

Monogamy is not controlling your partner, it is not a decision based on religion or jealousy. Monogamy is an ADVENTURE! It is committing yourself to that one true love that has stolen your heart and taken it to new heights. I personally do not believe in the honeymoon phase. This is just a cop-out because you chose a partner out of lust and not love. Having a single partner changes daily, you get to rediscover each other every day. What can be boring about that? The sex? Find new ways to discover fetishes and desires.

In the animal kingdom their is 5000 species, 10% of those species are monogamous. Out of that 10%, 4% are species that are considered on the top of the food chain. If you use the excuse that humans are just animals then think about the facts. The best hunters, most intelligent builders and dominant members of the animal kingdom are monogamous.

Getting bored with your partner is not the fault of your partner. IT IS YOUR OWN FAULT! You are not trying hard enough to keep that flame lit and raging. If you don’t know who to then I want to introduce you to an amazing thing this service will give you councilor phone numbers, books, audio, video and very graphic tips on how to light the fire.

My wife and I both are extremely monogamous. Have we had are slow times and bad times. Of course! We find ways to work it out. I am not trying to control her, she is not trying to control me. We have a mutual commitment, consent and love for each other that we do not need anything else too involved. And not to mention, I personally do not have the time, attention span and riches to be anyway else.

Till Tomorrow~ JJ

Written by JJ Steelman